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24 January 2006 @ 11:55 pm
 
I have many things to discuss, and most of them fall within the range of little – no importance.

1. K-Fed. Especially his display in the following video:
In Portuguese it means 'bring your ass' Honestly? Popozao? Are you even a little bit Brazillian? More importantly, are you reading the reviews? Plz stick to impregnating women and then living off of their wages. Think about it.

2. Augusten Burroughs>James Frey. It’s just a fact. Actually I am just bitter because James Frey broke my (and Oprah’s) heart. But I did just read Magical Thinking by Mr. Burroughs and it was very entertaining. Especially the following passage:

A child kicked me.

“What the fuck?” I said, looking down and seeing a young Chinese girl with a vinyl Hello Kitty knapsack.

She laughed, and then she kicked me again, harder.

I looked at her parents, but they both had dead, distant faces. The resigned expressions of older parents who had accidentally had a child, late in life. No doubt their little girl had kicked them both senseless, and now they were oblivious.

But I was not oblivious. And I was not amused.

“Stop that,” I said, leaning down and speaking into the top of her head. “Don’t kick.”

She kicked again.

The little fucker. I bent down. “Do you speak English?” I asked, sweetly. I smiled. “Do you speak English, you little cutie pie?”

She nodded, gave a little giggle, and then stepped on my toes, which were exposed through the straps of my sandals.

I immediately stopped smiling and narrowed my eyes. I whispered, “You kick me one more time you little cocksucker, and once we get on the boat, I’ll push your mother into the ocean, and she’ll die. And then I’ll hurt your daddy. And then I’ll be your new daddy and I’ll take you home with me.”

She moved quickly to the other side of her parents, where she kept a wary, silent eye on me.


TRUE STORY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT, JAMES FREY.

3. Being on the radio: not so jazzed about it, after last-minute switches and general chaos. We were scheduled for Mondays from 8-10pm which worked wonderfully for both Claire and I. But we were suddenly asked to switch to Wednesday night! Which for so, so many reasons is awful timing. It was out of the question. Friday night? Claire goes out of town on the weekends! We were counting on Mondays! Too bad though because now we’re on Tuesday nights from 8-9. Thank you to David Osit for being reasonable and kind and agreeing to actually I don’t even know how this came about besides that now Claire and I are on Tuesdays from 8-10 and David agreed to do something to make this so, and Joe made it so. Good news (for people who love bad news). Whenever I think of the phrase “good news” I cannot help but follow it with “for people who love bad news.” Similarly, when I think of the phrase “Sometimes I wonder,” the following plays through my head--

Whatchu gonn’ be?
A general, a doctor, maybe an MC?

THANK YOU WILL SMITH.

4. Speaking of Will Smith, and the radio, this woman I work with insists on playing the worst music from the 80s on her computer. No one even enjoys it. In fact, people vocally express their dislike of this music! But she somehow ignores it! So while I file, I listen to this horrible horrible music and my ears bleed because I have stuck toothpicks into them in an attempt to rupture my eardrums. But this experience has helped me come to a beneficial conclusion, and it is this:

The only criteria for judging music is whether you can picture Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air dancing to it. If you can, then it is bad music. If you can’t, then it may be good music.

But let me tell you, I was choreographing dances for him in my head to this shit.

5. Classes (Aryelle don’t read this part if you want to be surprised by the content of your letter!)

a. Tolkien: AMAZING. Basically I sit in class for fifty minutes three times a week and drool over the wealth of information I am taking in about an amazing man.

b. Sign language: Lame, pretty much. But I am obsessed with the idea of never stopping things without finishing them so at this rate I’ll probably end up with a freaking degree in ASL.

c. Cognitive Psychology: I can’t really tell yet and the room is so crowded and he goes through the notes like Flash Gordon and I’m just like wow!

d. British Literature: I don’t really enjoy English courses so I don’t really know why I plan on majoring in it. I really like English, though. Just not learning about it. I’d rather just assume that I know everything there is to know already.

e. Ethics: The course isn’t that interesting, actually, but the professor is SO WACKY that I would never even dream of dropping this class. I have never met a more interesting human being. He reminds me of such a specific cartoon character—Mr. Lindenson from Home Movies. The similarities are incredible. I love it. Every class is pure joy.

6. Winter break! Fantstic. I miss home more than anything. Especially because we got a large aquarium and my sister named one of the fish Kanye and many changes to the house were made that I did not even get to investigate! I brought too much junk back to the dorm with me, including many many books and knitting supplies and items of clothing.

Thank you for reading my livejournal entry I hope you liked it.
 
 
 
osit on January 25th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
you're welcome!
sorry about the whole situation, joe felt very bad about the whole issue. i hope the time slot works out okay for the two of you.
step-on-meboss_like_whoa on January 25th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
i saw james frey on oprah... is the thing he lied about what you're bitter about? and this other book sounds amazing whatever it is so please tell me :)
Autumnlautumnnnna on January 25th, 2006 02:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah, when his book first came out he said the whole thing was true but then they did an investigation and found out that he had never been to jail and all these things and it just made me sad.

The other book IS amazing! There's one story where he's trying to kill a rat in his apartment and it's the funniest thing I've ever read. I'll lend it to you next time I'm in Buffalo!